Sticks and stones

How does it go… sticks and stones could break my bones but words would never hurt me.

I’m sat on my sofa with tears running down my cheeks as my little baby looks up at me confused.

Today we went to visit a friend. Little Elle was in the sling – the first time I’d managed to get her in it without her screaming the apartment block down. Progress I thought. We got to town and she was still quite happy I was over the moon.

On the way home she decided she didn’t like the sling anymore and was screaming and writhing to get out. She wouldn’t let me put it around her head, nor wear a hat without screaming but she was wrapped up warm.

As I walked past a shop there was a lady sat outside with a sign, begging. She turned to me and told me I needed to put a hat on my baby. I carried on walking now feeling like the worst mother in the world. Had I tried to put a hat on her? Yes, she wasn’t having any of it.

This isn’t the first time I’ve got home and cried.

My daughter hated being in the pram. She constantly wanted to be carried, as soon as you put her down she would wake and scream.  She wouldn’t go in the sling without getting so angry and upset, there was no calming her.

So I had two choices – put her in the pram or sling and she cry, or carry her.

I carried her a couple of times and I can’t even count on my two hands the amount of people who came up to me and asked whether I should be carrying her around like that, where her pram was, do I not have a sling?. I was so used to justifying myself I already had a ready made speech.

I got so tired of this I went on with using the pram and still people would say to me, poor baby, pick her up.

I can’t win. It’s got to the point where I’m afraid to leave the house.

The only thing harming my child right now is those judgemental strangers taking away her happy mother.

Shes warm, happy and fed. As my children’s nurse said, she’s smart and she wants to be close to her mum.

She is happy with me, I’m not going to let strangers make me feel like I don’t know my own daughters needs.

If she needs my comfort then that’s what she will get.

Oh and also “you’re spoiling her” has come up many times. It’s the 21st century, that view is outdated. Please go and read a book.

She is a happy well looked after baby, she just needs a happy mum too.

Think before you give out one of your golden nuggets of wisdom – do you have the evidence to back it up? is it opinion or fact? does the recipient actually want it, or are you just going to ruin their day?

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